Prayers for the Pious Cukeologist

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Donation Goal
$3,000,000,000

2 out of 10

Prayers

Our mighty cucumber

Bless these dear cucumbers, which we are about to eat,

Let them not be too sour

And if we get worms

May we have the strength and conviction to pickle them.

Give us strong arms to make us strong men.

And lets drink cucumber juice to out blood pressure and get it up.

We praise thee Mighty Cucumber.

Prayer of good health

Dear Lord Almighty Cucumber

May our pots be always bounteous, cool and green

And provide us with cool ales and cooled cucumbers.

In Your season, cool our boiling blood as it churns in our loins for pickles

Lead us not into the temptation of tobacco, alcohol or pickles,

Lest we cucumber!

For yours is the pickle, the land, the power

Forever and ever and ever.

Amen

Cucumber in salad, cucumber in the garden

Cucumber, cucumber everywhere

At a Church of the Mighty Cucumber meeting

in the darkest night of November

When the moon is full and high

And the pickle juice begins to flow

I'm not of my world

I'm of the Mighty Cucumber